#RaiseTheVolume: Lost at SchoolPosted on: < Back
At this school, I feel lost.
I feel stuck in a whirlwind and I just cannot get out.
It’s the same thing every day:
“Pull your skirt down”
“Take your eyebrows off”
“You are letting yourself down”
“You are letting this Outstanding school down”
If you knew me better you would say:
“Are you okay?”
“You look nice today”
“Do you need time out?”
“I’m so proud of you”
Because I’m proud of how far I’ve come.
School should be a part of nurturing me as a person – but secondary school for me has not been the safe place I need. It hasn’t taught me to have a thick skin, it’s forced me to have a thick skin. And that’s sad. I used to cry in primary school, that it was near the summer holidays, but now I’ll pray for the summer holidays to start.
This school has let me down dramatically, and that’s a real shame because I really like school. I want to learn and do well. It’s a shame that the teachers don’t want to know the real ME. They just want my face to be bare, my skirt at my knees and my grades to keep improving. That’s all that seems important.
It would help me more if I felt safe.
I trust no one and if I do start to make a connection with someone, my trust is easily lost.
At times, I will stand up for myself as I feel that I’m the only one that will, and that may come across as rude.
I think people fake liking me.
Sometimes I walk away from situations when they are scary or I’m getting too fighty.
My safe person might be a friend. That’s hard because I always feel so far away from them (e.g. Kate) and at break & lunches I don’t get to talk to her.
My issues are just as hard and serious as someone who is crying, because I’m crying on the inside, I just don’t feel safe enough to show you.
When people don’t like Mum, I feel sad because she is my safe person.
Written by Annie aged 16, about her experiences as an adopted teen in mainstream education. Thank you Annie for sharing this brave and honest piece of writing with us.